That’s the thing about cake…it demands to be eaten.
This is the most brilliant thing out of all things that are brilliant.
I ate the cake the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once…
My thoughts are like icing I can’t fathom into lettering…
It would be a pleasure to have my cake eaten by you, Hazel Grace.
It’s a metaphor, see. You put the cake between your teeth but you don’t give it the power to be tasty.
you’re the window to my wall
you’re the sweat that drips down my balls
I’m so glad people breathe automatically bc if I had to remember to breathe every second I would’ve probably gotten too lazy to do it and died from it a long time ago
thank God for the hypothalamus.
cute nicknames for your significant other:
- old sport
- old sport
- old sport
- old sport
- old sport
- old sport
- old sport
carry-on-my-consulting-tardis:
“What house?”
“Montague!”
“whAT HOUSE?”
“MONTAGUE”
“WHAT HOUSE?????”
“MONTAGUE!!”
“MONTAGUES! GETCHA HEAD IN THE GAME!”
The fact that someone else thinks he looks like Zac Efron makes me so happy.
itunes has got it all wrong the hottest single of the year is me
girl you must be from outta this world ;) because you look like E.T.
in third grade this kid got in trouble for saying “be free my niggas” when we released the butterflies
the perks of being a gluten-free wallflower
If you get this question wrong, you’ve got some soul searching to do.
(Also, the teacher who put this on the test is a boss. This one’s for you.)
me: | *pulls up to the drive thru* |
cashier: | hi welcome to mcdonalds what can i get for u |
me: | can i get a hell yeah |
