//endless.winters

and i mean debts, like, literally. as in, money debts.

and i know a lot of people are pissed, and there is a teeny little part of me that is too, but come on. in all reality, i would really have a shitty banquet and a field season than a fancy-ass banquet and no field season.

just saying. but idk, i guess people would rather spend a night eating lemon chicken than a season working for their, uh, “passion”…

Confession Time. Bold what applies to you.

I am a male.

I am a girl.

I am shorter than 5’4. [only by like .25 inches]

I think I’m ugly. [soooometimes. but lately, not so much…?]

I’ve been told I’m ugly. [hahaahaaaa not that i cared.]

I have scars.

I tan easily.

I wish my hair was a different color.

I have friends who have never seen my natural hair color.

I have a tattoo.

I want a tattoo.

I am self-conscious about my body.

I’ve been told I’m attractive by a complete stranger. 

I have more than 2 piercings. 

I have a piercing in a place other than my ears.

I have freckles. 

I’ve sworn at my parents.

I’ve run away from home.

I’ve been kicked out of the house.

I have a sibling less than one year old.

I want to have kids someday. 

I’m in school.

I’ve lost a child. 

I have a job. 

I’ve fallen asleep at work/school.

I almost always do/did my homework.

I’ve missed a week or more of school.

I failed more than 1 class last year.

I’ve stolen something from my job. 

I’ve slipped out a “lol” in a spoken conversation.

Disney movies still make me cry.

I’ve peed from laughing. 

I’ve snorted while laughing.

I’ve cried from laughing so hard.

I’ve glued my hand to something.

I’ve had my pants rip in public.

I was born with a disease/disorder 

I’ve broken a bone.

I’ve gotten stitches/staples.

I’ve had my tonsils removed.

I’ve sat in a doctor’s office/emergency room with a friend.

I’ve had my wisdom teeth removed. 

I had a serious surgery.

I’ve had chicken pox. 

I’ve had measles.

I’ve driven over 200 miles in one day.

I’ve been on a plane.

I’ve been to Canada.

I’ve been to Mexico.

I’ve been to Niagara Falls.

I’ve been to Japan. [YEAHHHHHHHH!]

I’ve been to Africa.

I’ve been to Hawaii.

I’ve gotten lost in my city.

I’ve seen a shooting star.

I’ve wished on a shooting star.

I’ve seen a meteor shower.

I’ve pushed all the buttons on an elevator. [fun stuff.]

I’ve kicked a guy where it hurts.

I’ve been to a casino.

I’ve been skydiving.

I’ve gone skinny dipping.

I’ve played spin the bottle. 

I’ve drunk a whole gallon of milk in one hour.

I’ve crashed a car.

I’ve been skiing. 

I’ve been in a play.

I’ve met someone in person from Facebook.

I’ve caught a snowflake on my tongue. 

I’ve seen the Northern lights.

I’ve sat on a roof top at night.

I’ve played chicken.

I’ve played a prank on someone.

I’ve ridden in a taxi.

I’ve seen Rocky Horror Picture Show.

I’ve eaten sushi.

I’ve been snowboarding.

I’m single.

I’m in a “it’s complicated” relationship.

I’m in a relationship. 

I’m engaged.

I’m married.

I’ve gone on a blind date.

I’ve been the dumped more than the dumper.

I miss someone right now.

I have a fear of abandonment.

I’ve gotten divorced.

I’ve had feelings for someone who didn’t have them back.

I’ve told someone I loved them when I didn’t.

I’ve told someone I didn’t love them when I did.

I’ve kept something from a past relationship.

I’ve had a crush on a teacher.

I’ve been kissed in the rain.

I’ve hugged a stranger.

I have kissed a stranger. 

I’ve done something I promised someone else I wouldn’t.

I’ve done something I promised myself I wouldn’t.

I’ve snuck out of my house.

I have lied to my parents about where I am.

I am keeping a secret from the world. [probably.]

I’ve cheated while playing a game. 

I’ve cheated on a test. 

I’ve run a red light. 

I’ve been suspended from school.

I’ve witnessed a crime.

I’ve been in a fist fight.

I’ve been arrested.

I’ve passed out from drinking.

I have passed out drunk at least once in the past 6 months.

I’ve smoked.

I’ve smoked weed. 

I’ve taken painkillers when I didn’t need them.

I’ve popped E.

I’ve eaten mushrooms.

I’ve inhaled Nitrous. 

I’ve done hard drugs.

I have cough drops when I’m not sick.

I have 3 pills at a time no problem. 

I have been diagnosed with depression.

I have been diagnosed with one or more anxiety disorder.

I’ve taken an anti-depressant.

I have been anorexic or bulimic.

I’ve slept an entire day without needing to go pee.

I’ve hurt myself on purpose.

I’ve woken up crying.

I hate funerals.

I’ve seen someone dying.

Someone close to me has committed suicide.

I’ve attempted suicide.

I’ve written a eulogy for myself.

I own over 5 rap CDs.

I own an iPod or MP3 Player.

I have an unhealthy obsession with anime/manga. 

I own something from Hot Topic. 

I own something from Pac Sun.

I collect comic books.

when someone sings out loud and they get the lyrics wrong and it just sounds really stupid like o hey, they think they’re so cool because they’re up to date with the latest music when nothing that comes out actually makes sense because the lyrics are all wrong and crap.

or when people play an instrument but they’re playing it just to play it so there’s absolutely no consideration for the tempo or the emotion or the composition so all the notes are actually correct but in reality it sounds really horrible because it sounds like there are just fingers pounding on the keys that just all happen to be not wrong.
and then here’s an frustrated teenage girl next-door who’s prob pms-ing or something and trying to write some really important essay and she closes the door in order to drown out all the noise but there’s no effect because there are cracks between the doors and doorjambs and it’s not like any rooms are soundproof or anything.

I think there should be a law that says that all Filipino households should have soundproof rooms.

And yeah.

SMFH.

despite all of thaaat,

i still love weekends tho.

lol can i just have a facebook now?

school is not hard.

in hindsight, it really isn’t.

not for me, at least.

the content had never been difficult for me. ask me to analyze a book, i’ll do it. ask me to solve a calculus frq, i’ll do it. ask me the process of photosynthesis, i’ll do it. ask me about some piece of history, i’ll even do that too. ask me to create an art portfolio revolving around one focus with visual connections, shoot — of course i’ll do it. ask me how to create the structure of all tenses en francais — i’ll do that.

it’s easy.

what’s hard about school — what’s hard about being a full ib kid —  is the time, the management, the b a l a n c e. put all that together and squish it into a year, and see for yourself how hard it is to feel like you’re still alive.

what’s hard about school is how much you have to commit to it, without being completely sure if there’s still a point in what you’re doing.

what’s hard about school is staying at home for a whole weekend when you were supposed to go shopping or to a museum or to some college open house because you’re stuck trying to look for stupid useless trivia about all the presidents that ever existed.

what’s hard about school is not being able to practice your choreography or the new flag-rifle-sabrework because you have a shitload of homework due the next week.

what’s hard about school is still retaining that sense of faith that all of this hard work is worth it when there are million-dollar celebrities out there being paid and famous for NOT DOING CRAP.

WHAT’S HARD ABOUT SCHOOL IS THE FACT THAT THE FREAKING ECONOMY IS DOWN SO MORE COLLEGES ARE ACCEPTING LESS STUDENTS SO ALL HIGH SCHOOL KIDS HAVE TO TAKE ALL THE HARDEST CLASSES IN ORDER TO HAVE BETTER CHANCES IN GETTING INTO DOING WHATEVER THEY WANNA DO WITH THEIR LIFE BUT STILL KNOWING THAT THERE WAS A STRAIGHT-C STUDENT WHO WENT INTO GOOD COLLEGES OVER A BUNCH OF STRAIGHT-A IB KIDS.

so really, the stuff we learn in school really is not difficult. at all. it’s fcking easy. it’s the confinement that takes over the lives of everyone.